Sunday, February 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Matters of the Heart (Part 3)
The day came. My brother and sis-in-law picked me at 5.25am, and then we swung by to pick my dad. There was no exchanges "good mornings" nor did anyone speak. My heart felt so heavy on our way to the hospital, and I can't imagine how Mum would have been feeling, lying on the hospital bed, getting prepared for the surgery.
At 7am, she was pushed to the operating theatre. I cried so hard when the doors closed and we could not go in any further. I was so afraid that that would be the last time I see Mum. After I manage to have a grip on my emotions, we went to the canteen to have a bite, before proceeding to the waiting room, to wait for my mum to finish her surgery.
Dr Tan Ee Teing, the surgeon, advised that the surgery will take about 5 hours. We were the first at the waiting room, but soon it was filled with others who has family or friends going to surgery as well.
I was quite calm, until I saw Dr Tan walked past the waiting room. My mind went wild - what was he doing out here when my mum is suppose to be in surgery? Did something go wrong and he is looking for her family members to inform them? Is he late for the surgery? I dashed out of the waiting room, and saw my dad, who was outside the room, talking to Dr Tan. I heaved out a sigh of relief when I heard that he was running late for the surgery due to overruns in doing his rounds at the ward. So we went back into the waiting room, to wait.
Minutes passed, hours passed. We were all waiting for some news, any news on Mum's development in surgery. It was already passed the supposed 5 hours surgery time, and I was worried sick.
Then, at about 1.45pm, Dr Tan walked pass the waiting room again, already changed and was leaving. Dad and Bro were dozing off as they were so tired, so they did not take note of Dr Tan. Again, I dashed out of the waiting room to catch up with Dr Tan to ask him about Mum. I was then joined by Dad and Bro, and to our greatest relief, Dr Tan said the surgery was a success. But this is not without a scare: Dr Tan told us that towards the end of the operation, my mum's blood pressure suddenly plunged and the surgery team quickly tried to stabilise her condition. Fortunately, her BP returned to normal levels.
It took about 15 minutes before they pushed her into the ICU ward and we were asked to go and see her. To reduce the risk of infection, we can only watch her through a glass panel. Although the worst may be over, her road to recovery will be a long one. Looking at her with all kinds of tubes going into her body, to either put medication into her, or to extract waste tissues in her body post surgery. Her face was as white as sheet.
We took turns to go into the ICU ward to see her, and when she finally woke up, I felt tears rolling down my face. She's gonna be ok.
But we can tell she was in a lot of pain, and the morphine doesn't seem to be enough. She couldn't talk as she has the respiratory tube down her throat to help her breathe, but she kept shaking her head, frowning and tearing. But there was little that we can do.
On the next day, she looked much better - there was tones of redness underneath her skin, sign of good blood circulation. They also remove the breathing tube which according to her was where she was experiencing the most pain. She started to take porridge, but due to the side effects of anesthetic drugs, she kept throwing up. Even when her stomach was empty, she kept puking gastric juices, and the spasms were hurting her chest wounds. All we could do was to assure her that this would be over soon.
Mum was recovering well, and on the 2nd day post surgery, she was transferred to the high dependency ward to recuperate. She was very encouraged to find herself recovering well, but on the 4th day post surgery, the world collapsed again.
Mum was trying to change her position on the bed slightly as her back was feeling hot, so she used her left hand to hold on to the bed rail to adjust herself. Perhaps due to the exertion of strength or just a case of bad luck, Mum suddenly lost all sensation in that arm. Doctors and stroke specialists were called in to evaluate the situation. They quickly arranged to send her for a CT scan to access the severity of the stroke and where the clog may be.
We were relieved to hear that the scan results didn't show any hemorrhage or clogs in her brain. So what caused the stroke? The doctors did another scan in her neck, which yielded no negative reports too. Being a medical matter, it's sometimes hard to say what caused certain events.
Mum then blamed herself for pulling herself up, not knowing that it may have such dire circumstances. She told us that if she knew this is going to happen, she would not have opted for the operation. I then felt extreme guilt and regret as I encouraged her to go through the operation. But when I manage to clear my mind and think it through, it is the only way as without the operation, her life is in danger. If it is any consolation, the paralysis is only in her left arm, and the rest of her body still has full function. Well, at least for now.
Everyday, the occupational therapist will help my mum with simple exercises such as walking and finger movements. They have also made a special cast to hold her hand in a position such that the tendons and nerves don't shrink due to in activity in her affected arm. After a couple of days, Mum said she started to be able to feel some pain in her hand and could wriggle her pinky finger. I was so happy I cried. All the medication she's been taking and exercises she's been doing were aiding in the recovery.
Meanwhile, my brother and I were discussing what happens after she's discharged. We certainly cannot bring her home as the domestic helper has not arrived yet and it would be too much for Dad to take care of her. She also can't stay with us as we all had to work. We found out from our cousin that she knew someone who has gone through heart bypass, and admitted herself in the AMK Community Hospital after discharging from the mainstream hospital to recuperate. There they operated like a hospital, with nurses, therapists and doctors to monitor their recovery. Because of these benefits, the waiting list for admission can be relatively long as patients tend to stay for a while until they are well enough to go home.
Nonetheless, we requested to be considered for admission and requested for doctor's recommendation. A few days later, we were informed that my mum has been accepted as there were some patients who have discharged and there was a bed space available for her. We were so relieved to hear that and glad that she will receive good and specialised care which will help in her recuperation.
Her stay lasted 3 weeks at the AMK Hospital. Mum's bed was the furthest from the ward's main door, which gave more privacy and was less noisy. Mum actually said that the stay didn't feel that long as she had people to talk to in the ward, and the frequent exercises, meals, visitations helped time to pass faster. By the time of discharge, her arm has regained almost 70% of her strength and mobility. Doctors were confident of a full recovery, with home exercises and discipline (ie no carrying of heavy objects).
On 25 Nov 2008, Mum left the hospital for good and we were all very happy to bring her home. When she stepped into her house for the first time in more than 5 weeks, I could see her relief and gratefulness on her face. On the same day, we also went to pick up our maid Sunarti and introduced her to the family.
Everything is going to be fine now.
Thank you God , for the successful surgery, the caring doctors and medical staff who attended to my mum, to my in-laws and for all the people who has extended their help in one way or the other, for giving us strength to see through this period, for the good babysitter we found in the very short notice ....... for everything.
At 7am, she was pushed to the operating theatre. I cried so hard when the doors closed and we could not go in any further. I was so afraid that that would be the last time I see Mum. After I manage to have a grip on my emotions, we went to the canteen to have a bite, before proceeding to the waiting room, to wait for my mum to finish her surgery.
Dr Tan Ee Teing, the surgeon, advised that the surgery will take about 5 hours. We were the first at the waiting room, but soon it was filled with others who has family or friends going to surgery as well.
I was quite calm, until I saw Dr Tan walked past the waiting room. My mind went wild - what was he doing out here when my mum is suppose to be in surgery? Did something go wrong and he is looking for her family members to inform them? Is he late for the surgery? I dashed out of the waiting room, and saw my dad, who was outside the room, talking to Dr Tan. I heaved out a sigh of relief when I heard that he was running late for the surgery due to overruns in doing his rounds at the ward. So we went back into the waiting room, to wait.
Minutes passed, hours passed. We were all waiting for some news, any news on Mum's development in surgery. It was already passed the supposed 5 hours surgery time, and I was worried sick.
Then, at about 1.45pm, Dr Tan walked pass the waiting room again, already changed and was leaving. Dad and Bro were dozing off as they were so tired, so they did not take note of Dr Tan. Again, I dashed out of the waiting room to catch up with Dr Tan to ask him about Mum. I was then joined by Dad and Bro, and to our greatest relief, Dr Tan said the surgery was a success. But this is not without a scare: Dr Tan told us that towards the end of the operation, my mum's blood pressure suddenly plunged and the surgery team quickly tried to stabilise her condition. Fortunately, her BP returned to normal levels.
It took about 15 minutes before they pushed her into the ICU ward and we were asked to go and see her. To reduce the risk of infection, we can only watch her through a glass panel. Although the worst may be over, her road to recovery will be a long one. Looking at her with all kinds of tubes going into her body, to either put medication into her, or to extract waste tissues in her body post surgery. Her face was as white as sheet.
We took turns to go into the ICU ward to see her, and when she finally woke up, I felt tears rolling down my face. She's gonna be ok.
But we can tell she was in a lot of pain, and the morphine doesn't seem to be enough. She couldn't talk as she has the respiratory tube down her throat to help her breathe, but she kept shaking her head, frowning and tearing. But there was little that we can do.
On the next day, she looked much better - there was tones of redness underneath her skin, sign of good blood circulation. They also remove the breathing tube which according to her was where she was experiencing the most pain. She started to take porridge, but due to the side effects of anesthetic drugs, she kept throwing up. Even when her stomach was empty, she kept puking gastric juices, and the spasms were hurting her chest wounds. All we could do was to assure her that this would be over soon.
Mum was recovering well, and on the 2nd day post surgery, she was transferred to the high dependency ward to recuperate. She was very encouraged to find herself recovering well, but on the 4th day post surgery, the world collapsed again.
Mum was trying to change her position on the bed slightly as her back was feeling hot, so she used her left hand to hold on to the bed rail to adjust herself. Perhaps due to the exertion of strength or just a case of bad luck, Mum suddenly lost all sensation in that arm. Doctors and stroke specialists were called in to evaluate the situation. They quickly arranged to send her for a CT scan to access the severity of the stroke and where the clog may be.
We were relieved to hear that the scan results didn't show any hemorrhage or clogs in her brain. So what caused the stroke? The doctors did another scan in her neck, which yielded no negative reports too. Being a medical matter, it's sometimes hard to say what caused certain events.
Mum then blamed herself for pulling herself up, not knowing that it may have such dire circumstances. She told us that if she knew this is going to happen, she would not have opted for the operation. I then felt extreme guilt and regret as I encouraged her to go through the operation. But when I manage to clear my mind and think it through, it is the only way as without the operation, her life is in danger. If it is any consolation, the paralysis is only in her left arm, and the rest of her body still has full function. Well, at least for now.
Everyday, the occupational therapist will help my mum with simple exercises such as walking and finger movements. They have also made a special cast to hold her hand in a position such that the tendons and nerves don't shrink due to in activity in her affected arm. After a couple of days, Mum said she started to be able to feel some pain in her hand and could wriggle her pinky finger. I was so happy I cried. All the medication she's been taking and exercises she's been doing were aiding in the recovery.
Meanwhile, my brother and I were discussing what happens after she's discharged. We certainly cannot bring her home as the domestic helper has not arrived yet and it would be too much for Dad to take care of her. She also can't stay with us as we all had to work. We found out from our cousin that she knew someone who has gone through heart bypass, and admitted herself in the AMK Community Hospital after discharging from the mainstream hospital to recuperate. There they operated like a hospital, with nurses, therapists and doctors to monitor their recovery. Because of these benefits, the waiting list for admission can be relatively long as patients tend to stay for a while until they are well enough to go home.
Nonetheless, we requested to be considered for admission and requested for doctor's recommendation. A few days later, we were informed that my mum has been accepted as there were some patients who have discharged and there was a bed space available for her. We were so relieved to hear that and glad that she will receive good and specialised care which will help in her recuperation.
Her stay lasted 3 weeks at the AMK Hospital. Mum's bed was the furthest from the ward's main door, which gave more privacy and was less noisy. Mum actually said that the stay didn't feel that long as she had people to talk to in the ward, and the frequent exercises, meals, visitations helped time to pass faster. By the time of discharge, her arm has regained almost 70% of her strength and mobility. Doctors were confident of a full recovery, with home exercises and discipline (ie no carrying of heavy objects).
On 25 Nov 2008, Mum left the hospital for good and we were all very happy to bring her home. When she stepped into her house for the first time in more than 5 weeks, I could see her relief and gratefulness on her face. On the same day, we also went to pick up our maid Sunarti and introduced her to the family.
Everything is going to be fine now.
Thank you God , for the successful surgery, the caring doctors and medical staff who attended to my mum, to my in-laws and for all the people who has extended their help in one way or the other, for giving us strength to see through this period, for the good babysitter we found in the very short notice ....... for everything.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
It's a Small Small World
I feel that the world is indeed getting smaller.
I have a colleague whom we got acquainted when her department was sitting on the same floor as my department. After her department moved to another floor, we still bump into each other once in a while, and we continue to exchange our hellos and chat up a bit.
Then she found me on Facebook. I was browsing through her list of friends and I noticed that we have many common friends. The best part is she even knows both my sisters-in-law (they don't know each other). Come to think of it, she's probably the only person in Singapore who knows both my sisters-in-law, ie Chester's sis and my brother's wife, before I even know them!
The search continues.....
I have a colleague whom we got acquainted when her department was sitting on the same floor as my department. After her department moved to another floor, we still bump into each other once in a while, and we continue to exchange our hellos and chat up a bit.
Then she found me on Facebook. I was browsing through her list of friends and I noticed that we have many common friends. The best part is she even knows both my sisters-in-law (they don't know each other). Come to think of it, she's probably the only person in Singapore who knows both my sisters-in-law, ie Chester's sis and my brother's wife, before I even know them!
The search continues.....
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Matters of the Heart (Part 2)
Doctors told us that given Mum's condition, she's actually lucky to have been sent to the hospital in time. Nonetheless, we were given 2 options: (1) to do a heart bypass, or (2) take blood thinning medication and hope for the best. Mum gleefully opted for the 2nd and her mind was set on going home.
But we all know that there is actually no choice - she may have an attack again and may not be that lucky the next time. I guess she's in denial of the situation and was afraid to take the chance for a better quality of life after a bypass when mortality could be the end result of the op.
Then she continued to experience chest pains and was given a series of medication to help her cope better. The doctors were very concerned and transferred her to the High Dependency ward for closer monitoring. I believe it was then she realised the severity of the situation and finally agreed to the surgery, but not after the angiogram specialist took the time to explain her condition to her and persuade her to do the surgery.
She was trying to keep her spirits up, but many times, usually when we talk about Mayenne, her eyes would well up.
The surgery date was originally scheduled on 1Nov07, which was at least 1.5 weeks from the time she had her angiogram. That seemed like a long wait, but we didn't have a choice as the operating theatres are fully booked. We were concerned that Mum will worry and think of things that will make her more sad while waiting for her turn for the operation.
She was still experiencing angina, and was getting more and more breathless and weaker by the day. We could literally see life draining from her, and the doctors were very concerned about her condition. Her surgeon then decided to request for an emergency operation by taking over a slot for a non-emergency operation, and the date was 26Oct.
...... to be continued
But we all know that there is actually no choice - she may have an attack again and may not be that lucky the next time. I guess she's in denial of the situation and was afraid to take the chance for a better quality of life after a bypass when mortality could be the end result of the op.
Then she continued to experience chest pains and was given a series of medication to help her cope better. The doctors were very concerned and transferred her to the High Dependency ward for closer monitoring. I believe it was then she realised the severity of the situation and finally agreed to the surgery, but not after the angiogram specialist took the time to explain her condition to her and persuade her to do the surgery.
She was trying to keep her spirits up, but many times, usually when we talk about Mayenne, her eyes would well up.
The surgery date was originally scheduled on 1Nov07, which was at least 1.5 weeks from the time she had her angiogram. That seemed like a long wait, but we didn't have a choice as the operating theatres are fully booked. We were concerned that Mum will worry and think of things that will make her more sad while waiting for her turn for the operation.
She was still experiencing angina, and was getting more and more breathless and weaker by the day. We could literally see life draining from her, and the doctors were very concerned about her condition. Her surgeon then decided to request for an emergency operation by taking over a slot for a non-emergency operation, and the date was 26Oct.
...... to be continued
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Happy 6th Anniversary!
To my dearest, cutest hubby Chester:
It has been six years since we walked down the aisle, and I recently asked you if it feels like 6 years to you. You quickly said no, and added "It feels like 10!"
Your sense of humour is something that I'm still learning to appreciate :P. Other than that, I count my blessings everyday for you .....
...... for being my pillar of strength during tough times, especially the recent phase that we went through with my mum
...... for showering Mayenne and I your unconditional love
...... for working so hard to provide us with necessities and luxuries
...... most importantly, for making that decision 6 years ago so that we have all the reasons to celebrate our love and share our lives together today.
I Love You Darling!
xoxoxo
It has been six years since we walked down the aisle, and I recently asked you if it feels like 6 years to you. You quickly said no, and added "It feels like 10!"
Your sense of humour is something that I'm still learning to appreciate :P. Other than that, I count my blessings everyday for you .....
...... for being my pillar of strength during tough times, especially the recent phase that we went through with my mum
...... for showering Mayenne and I your unconditional love
...... for working so hard to provide us with necessities and luxuries
...... most importantly, for making that decision 6 years ago so that we have all the reasons to celebrate our love and share our lives together today.
I Love You Darling!
xoxoxo
Monday, November 26, 2007
Matters of the Heart - Part 1
It has been more than a month since my last blog. It is not that I have nothing to update; on the contrary, that's so much to say that I don't even know where and how to start.
I've titled this blog "Matters of the Heart", cos it's really all about that.
My mum, with the exception of a persistent high blood pressure and being mildly diabetic, has always seemed fit. When she was taking care of Mayenne over the last few months, she did complain of some tightness in her chest, but she brushed it off, citing old age and lack of exercise. Nonetheless, the tightness apparently developed into breathlessness and pain, but she didn't tell anyone.
On the Saturday of 20 October 2007, she went to a sinseh for a quick rub for her aching wrist. On her way home, she experienced symptoms of angina (pain in chest, nausea, cold sweat etc). But she didn't see a doctor immediately and went home to rest instead. But the pain got worse, and I only found out that she was unwell when I called her to chat with her.
Her being home alone, I was worried that she may collapse anytime, so I called my brother Cedric to go over to Mum's place to take a look as I was also home alone with Mayenne. When my brother arrived, he was very worried with what he saw - a very pale face, very shallow breaths, and she couldn't even stand without support. He rushed her to SGH A&E (actually she saw a doctor at TTH prior to this attack, which makes blood boil even thinking about it - I will talk more about this in another post).
The doctors and nurses at SGH promptly ushered her to do all the appropriate tests, to determine if she has a heart failure. While the preliminary results revealed that there are no enzymes in her blood, ie her heart is still ok, doctors were concerned about the irregularities in her heartbeats, reflected in her ECG. They recommended for her to go for an angiogram, to see if there are any blockages to her arteries.
All this while, I was at home with Mayenne as I couldn't really bring Mayenne to the hospital and it was logistically challenging as Chester took the car out for work. I could only rely on my brother to update me on my mum's progress, which was not very much.
She was then scheduled for the angiogram within the next 2 days. We didn't think too much about it, cos my dad went through the exact same procedure a couple of years back, and went on to do an angioplasty to open up the blockage he had in one of his arteries.
Now that the sole care giver of my baby was indisposed, I have to take leave to take care of Mayenne myself. Fortunately I still have a couple of days of my annual leave left, so it wasn't such a big issue. The problem I had was that I need to be at the hospital to accompany my mum, but I couldn't bring Mayenne with me (hospitals are no place for infants this young).
Then my MIL offered to take a few days of urgent leave to help me take care of Mayenne. I am very grateful for her kind gesture as I know she wasn't accustomed to taking care of infants (it's been a long time since her kids were babies), but yet she was willing to try and help me out.
On the day of the angiogram, after I sent Mayenne over to my MIL's place, I took a cab and headed to SGH. On my way there, I received an SMS from my brother. It read:
"Not so good news. Angiogram shows all her main arteries are seriously blocked. Cannot do angioplasty. She needs a heart bypass."
I cried in the cab.
(to be continued .............. )
I've titled this blog "Matters of the Heart", cos it's really all about that.
My mum, with the exception of a persistent high blood pressure and being mildly diabetic, has always seemed fit. When she was taking care of Mayenne over the last few months, she did complain of some tightness in her chest, but she brushed it off, citing old age and lack of exercise. Nonetheless, the tightness apparently developed into breathlessness and pain, but she didn't tell anyone.
On the Saturday of 20 October 2007, she went to a sinseh for a quick rub for her aching wrist. On her way home, she experienced symptoms of angina (pain in chest, nausea, cold sweat etc). But she didn't see a doctor immediately and went home to rest instead. But the pain got worse, and I only found out that she was unwell when I called her to chat with her.
Her being home alone, I was worried that she may collapse anytime, so I called my brother Cedric to go over to Mum's place to take a look as I was also home alone with Mayenne. When my brother arrived, he was very worried with what he saw - a very pale face, very shallow breaths, and she couldn't even stand without support. He rushed her to SGH A&E (actually she saw a doctor at TTH prior to this attack, which makes blood boil even thinking about it - I will talk more about this in another post).
The doctors and nurses at SGH promptly ushered her to do all the appropriate tests, to determine if she has a heart failure. While the preliminary results revealed that there are no enzymes in her blood, ie her heart is still ok, doctors were concerned about the irregularities in her heartbeats, reflected in her ECG. They recommended for her to go for an angiogram, to see if there are any blockages to her arteries.
All this while, I was at home with Mayenne as I couldn't really bring Mayenne to the hospital and it was logistically challenging as Chester took the car out for work. I could only rely on my brother to update me on my mum's progress, which was not very much.
She was then scheduled for the angiogram within the next 2 days. We didn't think too much about it, cos my dad went through the exact same procedure a couple of years back, and went on to do an angioplasty to open up the blockage he had in one of his arteries.
Now that the sole care giver of my baby was indisposed, I have to take leave to take care of Mayenne myself. Fortunately I still have a couple of days of my annual leave left, so it wasn't such a big issue. The problem I had was that I need to be at the hospital to accompany my mum, but I couldn't bring Mayenne with me (hospitals are no place for infants this young).
Then my MIL offered to take a few days of urgent leave to help me take care of Mayenne. I am very grateful for her kind gesture as I know she wasn't accustomed to taking care of infants (it's been a long time since her kids were babies), but yet she was willing to try and help me out.
On the day of the angiogram, after I sent Mayenne over to my MIL's place, I took a cab and headed to SGH. On my way there, I received an SMS from my brother. It read:
"Not so good news. Angiogram shows all her main arteries are seriously blocked. Cannot do angioplasty. She needs a heart bypass."
I cried in the cab.
(to be continued .............. )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
