Mummy Dearest

Today marks the end of my maternity leave of 3 months. But I've applied for another 2 weeks' leave from my annual leave so that I can spend more time with Mayenne.

These 3 months, which I initially thought will be painfully long before I delivered Mayenne in May, whizzed past me in a blink of an eye.

The 1st month of confinement was a little crazy; trying to adapt to motherhood, endless feeds and diaper changes, brushes with the confinement lady..... time flew, and before I knew it, we were celebrating Mayenne's first month.

2nd and 3rd months were more manageable and enjoyable, as Mayenne's feeding and sleeping patterns are more defined and she started interacting with us. It was also largely attributed to my mum coming over everyday on weekdays (sometimes she stays overnight), to help take care of Mayenne.

Whilst I feel really bad that she needs to wake up middle of the night to feed Mayenne, and that I insisted that I do it instead, she said she would prefer to use this time as training ground as she will be taking care of Mayenne when I return to work.

My mum quit her job in May in anticipation of the birth of her first grandchild and she has offered to take care of her. To me, this is such a big sacrifice, though some people think it's no big deal as grandparents look after their grandchildren all the time.

She has been a housewife all her life, until I entered Uni and my brother got enlisted into the army. She was finally getting to have a life of her own, making new friends and engaging in various social activities like line dancing and karaoking, but she gave up all these for Mayenne and me. I was really touched by her actions.

That being said, the older folks have their own thoughts and ways of doing things, which I may not see eye to eye. Given my fairly short fuse, sometimes I'll snap at Mum for things she didn't do right, eg left steriliser cover tilted (so sterilisation was not done properly), wore Mayenne's clothes backwards front etc.

I hate myself for raising my voice at her, and I've been trying to stop doing so. I tell myself to be more understanding as Mum is no longer young, and it is inevitable that she may be a little careless and forgetful.

Besides, she has been doing all the marketing, cooking and washing of Mayenne's clothes (by hand). What more can I ask for......

I ask myself: Would I be able do the same for Mayenne in the future? What if the person taking care of Mayenne was someone else eg my MIL, and she makes the same mistakes - would I yell at her?

I do not say this often enough - I love you, Mum, and THANK YOU.